Thursday, July 13, 2017

If I Were An Unapologetic Cis Black Girl

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I wrote an It's A Wonderful Life themed post back in 2007 that pondered the 'what if' question of what my life would be like if I were a cis Black woman.  

Granted that came about during a time when I living in Da Ville, and was depressed during the Christmas holidays, but Raquel Willis asking the question on her Facebook page has me doing some hard solid thinking about the issue once again.  

So what would my life been like had I showed up in 1962 as a cis Black girl?  Probably not as exciting as the one I have now, but would probably have a much fatter bank account.

My elementary junior high, high school and college experiences definitely would have been different.  Instead of playing Little League baseball as I did in junior high I probably would have been in the stands watching my brother play or being his team's official scorekeeper.

Hey, this was the 70's I grew up in.   Title IX hadn't fully kicked in yet.  And I'd probably still be a huge Houston Texans fan.

The most obvious change would be this blog probably wouldn't exist or if it did, it would have a different focus.  I definitely see me being a writer as part of my cis feminine life in this deep thought exercise.

I also would probably be trading my five White House trips during the Obama administration and trips to various TBLGQ conferences over the last 20 years for National Association of Black Journalists and sorority ones.

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Which sorority you ask?   My mom and sister wear salmon pink and apple green.

Cis feminine Moni probably wouldn't be as well versed on trans issues and history as I am now, but my social justice leanings would ensure that I was an ally to the trans community and drive me to learn more about it.

But I go from having the phone numbers of various well known trans folks programmed in my phone to basically having to fangirl about them and not knowing personally many of the international trans folks I've gotten to know.

Speaking of history, that love of history probably would be is part of my cis feminine life.  Because my mom, godmother and great grandmother were teachers, and my godmother taught at the collegiate level, there the possibility that cis feminine Moni would try to follow in their footsteps as my godmother would have been trying steer me toward being a Sigma Gamma Rho.

I'd probably would have already attempted to run for office, either for city council or the state legislature, or been counting the days to retirement from the airline biz at IAH as I travel the planet on my passes.

Do I see myself with kids?   Not sure.  One of the things that has eluded me in my life is a long term relationship, but some of that lack of success in love is probably attributable to dealing with the trans issue. With me not being trans, maybe the issues that derailed a lot of my pre transition relationships go in a more positive direction.

But that's also assuming that I have the ability to have kids.

So what are the other life challenges I would face had I been born as unapologetic Black cis girl?

My parental relationship would have changed with my dad being his first born daughter.  My womanhood would still be demonized, my intelligence discounted, I'd still be facing the prospect of sexual assault or violence aimed at me, and because I'm 6' 2", I'd still have transmisogyny or 'that's a man' shade flung at me. I'd still be pulled over by the police for driving while Black.
So naah, I think I'll take the life I have now.   It's a lot more challenging, but it's also a lot more fun at times as well..

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